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The Surrogacy Dream Team

During every surrogacy journey, it’s safe to sat that every Intended Parent and Surrogate wants the same thing: a smooth positive experience. That may not be a guarantee, but the best way to make sure this goal is met, is to assemble the right team. So who all do you need on your team to set yourself up for success?

  • A Fertility Law Attorney:

You need someone who knows surrogacy laws in the state you are transferring your embryo, and the state in which your baby will be born (if it’s not the same state as they are being transferred). You will need a lawyer for you and a separate one for your Gestational Carrier. If you trust your lawyer the legal process will go smoothly and seamlessly. Your lawyer should also be able to refer you to someone else if they cannot represent you for any reason (for example, your baby is born in a state in which they do not practice).

  • Psychologist

You will need a psychologist to screen your surrogate. This person is also a great resource to refer to if you (or your surrogate) need emotional support during the process. Find someone you are comfortable talking to  and value their professional recommendations. 

  • Doctors

You will need a variety of doctor’s on your team. First and foremost is the Reproductive Endocrinologist who will oversee your embryo transfer and any procedures done at your fertility clinic. The second doctor you need on your team is your surrogate’s obgyn. While the Obgyn may not be your doctor, they are caring for your baby (and your baby’s carrier). It’s important to accept that you may not have a say on who your surrogate sees, and if your surrogate trusts their doctor, you must trust your surrogate. 

  • Financial Case Managers

We really mean the case managers of your Escrow account. The purpose of an escrow is to have a third party manage your money during the process so there are no complications and everything is managed legally and what was agreed upon. It is your case manager’s job is to watch over your money and release funds based on your legal contract, or anything you agreed to pay for. 

  • Agency

Your agency is essentially your team leader. They will assist you with building the right team for you and help you work through each area of the process. 

  • Social Worker

At Southern Surrogacy, we assign you a social worker who will be your eyes and ears during the process. They will check on you for every big moment, and periodically throughout the process. If you have any questions or concerns, your case manager is the person to discuss them with. If they don’t have an answer, they know exactly who to recommend you to. Having a good relationship with your social worker will make you feel comfortable during your process!

As with anything, every journey is different. This is a general list of professionals that you should have on your team before you start your journey. The good news is that you won’t have to find all of these professionals on your own. Once you start building your team, the other positions will fall into place. There are a lot of professionals in this industry that are happy to assist, recommend, and be part of your dream come true. If you aren’t sure where to start, please reach out to us.

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Ways to cope with the “Hurry Up and Wait” game

In the beginning of your Surrogacy journey you probably did the following…

You probably researched online what the process was all about. You probably found surrogacy influencers and followed their content. You probably spoke to friends, family, and maybe even joined some Facebook groups. You hopefully felt more comfortable the more you learned, and you felt as ready as you could to begin your journey. 

But no matter how prepared you are, no one could prepare you for the inevitable waiting game. 

The constant battle of hurrying up to do something, but once you did it now you have to just wait. 

Hurry up and get on the list, but wait months (or even years) to get matched.

Get matched, and hurry up to to start medical screening. But wait for the results. Wait to see if she is even going to pass medical screening. 

Hurry up to sign the contract, but wait to make sure every I is dotted and T is crossed. Wait for it to be finalized and for everyone to sign.

Hurry up to schedule the transfer, and wait to see if it worked. 

Hurry up to get to the pregnancy, but wait nine months for that baby to get here.

The waiting is the worse part.

How do we overcome this inevitable piece of this puzzle? 

The easiest answer is to stay open and communicate with each other. 

Come up with a schedule on how you will receive updates. Maybe it’s once a week, or after every appointment. If your struggling with the waiting talk to your social worker, or your psychologist. That’s what they are there for. They understand the waiting is hard, and they want to help you through this process. Remember the saying “Good things come to those who wait”? Well it’s true (for the most part). But staying in contact, and being open will go a long way for your mental health and for everyone involved.

Sometimes the waiting will feel never-ending, but remember most of the waiting is out of anyones control, so you must find ways to be patient. Maybe try some of these to get you started:

Distract yourself with other tasks that need to be done, or even things you know should be done, but you have been putting off.

Get physical.  Go for a walk outside, or turn on some music and dance around like no-one’s watching!

Write in a journal, or send a letter to a loved on.

Clean the house (again). 

We know the path to parenthood thru surrogacy has it’s complexities. Which is why we at Southern Surrogacy want you to feel like you have a family to rely on. We want to support you through it all. You are never alone in this process! 

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Update from the Executive Director

Finally – a real blog post! Since Southern Surrogacy, LLC was formed we have had some exciting changes. The most significant is that we now have an office in Charlotte, North Carolina in addition to our offices in Atlanta and Savannah. We are working with local fertility centers here in North Carolina to be sure that local prospective intended parents and gestational carriers know that we are here. We continue to work with families who are looking for gestational carriers and women interested in serving as gestational carriers in the entire southeast region including Georgia, Alabama, South Carolina, North Carolina and Florida. If you have interest in our program please contact us. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

 

Surrogates: Apply Now!