So, you’re thinking about becoming a gestational carrier (aka a surrogate)? First of all, you’re a saint. Second of all, let’s make sure you know what you’re getting into before you sign up to be a temporary luxury Airbnb for a baby that isn’t yours. Here are the top 10 things you need to know before taking the plunge.
1. It’s Not Your Baby
Obvious? Sure. But trust me, it still needs to be said. You are hosting this tiny guest, but you are not redecorating their nursery or picking out their college fund. This is a mental shift you need to make from day one. You’re the VIP transport service, not the final destination.
2. You’ll Have to Pass a LOT of Tests
Think you’re healthy? Great! Now get ready for more medical screenings than an astronaut. You’ll need blood work, ultrasounds, psychological evaluations, and probably a deep dive into your eating habits (yes, that extra cheese habit may come up).
3. Hormones Will Rule Your Life
Before pregnancy even begins, you’ll be on a hormonal roller coaster. Injections, patches, pills—your body will be more regulated than an Olympic athlete’s training schedule. Just remember: Mood swings are part of the package, so warn your loved ones in advance.
4. Contracts Are Not Optional
This is not a “we’ll figure it out as we go” situation. Lawyers will be involved, contracts will be signed, and every single “what if” scenario will be covered. Who pays for medical bills? What happens if you have triplets? Who gets to name the baby? (Spoiler: Not you.)
5. You Might Get Attached (or Not)
Some carriers feel a deep connection to the baby they carry, while others don’t. Both are totally normal! Just know that post-birth emotions can be wild, so have a solid support system in place to process all the feels.
6. It’s a Commitment—Like, a BIG One
Pregnancy is already a nine-month marathon, but the process of getting there? That can take months (or even years). Between matching with intended parents, legal processes, medical protocols, and the actual pregnancy, this is not a quick gig.
7. People Will Ask Weird Questions
“Won’t you feel weird giving the baby away?” “Do you get to name it?” “Is it, like, your baby?” Get ready for lots of eyebrow-raising conversations and some serious myth-busting. (Pro tip: Have some witty comebacks prepared.)
8. Your Family Needs to Be on Board
If you have a partner, kids, or anyone who shares a house with you, they’re in this too. Your partner might be giving you hormone shots, your kids might have questions, and everyone needs to be okay with the reality that Mom is pregnant but not bringing home a sibling.
9. Birth Plans Can Get Complicated
You’re not just birthing a baby, you’re delivering someone else’s whole world. This means the intended parents may want to be in the delivery room (or at least FaceTiming in). Be clear about your comfort levels and boundaries in advance.
10. It’s One of the Most Rewarding Things You’ll Ever Do
Despite all the tests, paperwork, and pregnancy symptoms, being a gestational carrier means helping another family in a way that’s truly life-changing. Watching parents hold their baby for the first time? That’s next-level magic.
So, if you’re still saying, “Yep, I want to do this,” then buckle up, you’re in for an incredible journey. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you about the hormones!