The journey to motherhood is not what I imagined when I was playing house with my dolls as a kid. 

I didn’t know what IVF was, or infertility, and I certainly did not know that surrogacy existed.

But here we are. 

While I am ecstatic to be a mom, and comfortable with our choice of using a gestational carrier to help me accomplish that dream, there are some things I want my surrogate to know. 

So here it goes….

To my surrogate,

     First and foremost, thank you! 

Thank you for being brave and for answering the call to help me become a mom. 

Thank you for researching surrogacy and applying. 

Thank you for meeting with me and my husband, and choosing us as your intended parents.

Thank you for your patience as we jump through hoops with screening, contracts, and medications.

Thank you for your willingness to drive to our clinic, and for answering my texts when I reach out.

I want you to know that I am beyond excited to be a mom and to try again.

But I also want you to know how terrified I am. I have gone through so much pain and hardship to get to this point. While I am confident in this process, it’s hard not to relive moments of struggle at each milestone. 

Yes, seeing a positive pregnancy test is a relief, but it’s not the first time I have experienced this moment. Unfortunately for me, this moment has historically been followed by loss. So while I want to announce our success, in my mind, we aren’t out of the woods yet. 

I am so grateful that you are filled with a positive outlook, and I need you to keep that positivity as we progress. As nervous as I am, this positivity is encouraging me to relax bit by bit.

I need you to know that I want to be involved as much as possible, but I am scared to get too attached. I want to know how you are feeling every minute of every day, so I am prepared for any “uh-oh” that might arise. But I am trying to respect boundaries and find that balance. 

Going into this, I thought I would be a lot more laid back and relaxed. I find myself co-existing between a constant state of panic, and serenity. But your support and unwavering care have been so comforting to me.

Thank you for your patience and understanding as we navigate this journey together. I could not imagine a better team by my side as we make this dream come true!

You will forever be part of my life and our family. 

-Your Intended Mother