How to support someone going through Surrogacy

Do you know someone going through Surrogacy? Maybe it’s a friend thinking of becoming a Surrogate. Maybe it’s a family member wanting to find a Surrogate to build their family. Whether it’s a Surrogate or an Intended Parent, support is the most important aspect of the Surrogacy journey.

Here are some ways you can support your loved one on this journey of family-building!

1. Do some research
   1. Research to understand the basics of Surrogacy. You don’t have to know everything, but knowing the basics of the process will help you feel more confident in what’s going on. Make sure your research comes from a medically-backed website. 
   2. Some good places to start:
      1. https://resolve.org/learn/what-are-my-options/surrogacy/
      2. https://southernsurrogacy.com/surrogates/medical-process/
      3. https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/using-surrogate-mother

2. Don’t give advice

Surrogacy can be very overwhelming for the person going through the process. Sometimes we want to help so much that we give advice on what to do. Try to limit the advice, unless asked for advice. Your advice may come with the right intentions, but remember, Surrogacy involves multiple parties, so it’s not as simple as it may appear. Every decision must be discussed and agreed upon within all parties involved. Instead of giving advice, ask your person where their head is at and what they think of certain situations. 

3. Ask questions

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. The person going through Surrogacy may or may not know the answers, but the fact that you asked shows you’re interested. Maybe your question is something they never thought of. Maybe your question is something they were thinking about too, and now you have created an open environment to promote dialogue. Not sure what to ask? How about a simple “How are you feeling?” Or “any updates?”. Simple questions that show you support them. 

Surrogacy is a long and delicate process. Not everyone chooses this path to build a family so it’s only natural if you don’t know much about it or know how to be supportive. But, you don’t have to relate to Surrogacy to be able to support someone going through it. Anything you do to be there for your person is helpful. Be open, be honest, and just be there. 

If you need more ideas on how to support your person, reach out to us. We have a wonderful community of Surrogates and Intended Parents who would love to help you!